talking to you

Expanding my mind

Reaching out and out and out

Trying to hear you

Just one more time

I will selfishly keep you here as long as I can

Because you were all I knew

And now I am just lost and confused

I hear you in my head

Pushing me

Guiding me

Comforting me

But those could all be lies

Just my own head trying to push me through the pain

And maybe nothing and no one really exists anyway

Maybe I am just a fucking piece of shit person

That doesn’t deserve to be happy 

Poetry from a lonely Wednesday night

Poetry from a lonely Wednesday night

They put you down down down today

So deep into the earth

My sweet earth sign

My raging bull

Who is now so fucking silent

The quiet is what kills me most

No pleading emails

Or jovial text messages

Just the sickening sound of silence

I drown it out the best I can

With songs that just remind me of you

That make the quiet seem even more sinister

I search for you everywhere I go

Red Durango

All smashed to bits and pieces

Claiming your life

Your beautiful fucking body

That touched me so often

And so sweetly

That I know it as well as my own

My sad green eyed man

I question why you had to leave every day

And I wish for you back

Back to this cold cruel world

You were not meant to be here

Such a soft soul

Couldn’t handle the pain of everyday life

Couldn’t sit still and behave

Like an unruly child

Your life was not pure and light

It was dark and dangerous

And one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen

I miss you Simon Keel

Lost

I have such a hard time nowadays

Figuring out where I should go

What I should do

So I sit

Sit inside my head or inside yours

Stroking on the fragile neurons

Wondering if I will even remember this

If any of it even matters to anyone

It doesn’t matter to me

So how could it matter to you

My complacency

My dependency

My stagnation

My darkness

That creeps up in the middle of the night when no one is looking

I keep it with me until morning

And share bits and pieces

Just enough to scare you

And make you know that I am not

And never will be

Fucking normal